Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
