I never want to see another naked old woman again.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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