bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
