i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
