I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
