Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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