Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
