i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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