What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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