I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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