apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
