Yo dont text me then not text me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize