I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i need some magic done to my vagina
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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