i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
