i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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