im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize