oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Someone signed my nipple.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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