the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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