i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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