thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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