I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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