I just cut my nipple shaving
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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