and you said cock pushups were impossible
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
