Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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