Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
