No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
