He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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