apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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