so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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