there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize