OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
