When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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