dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he high fived his dick after we had sex
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
