yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
