You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
