I'm lost and stupid without you.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
