when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he shaved USA in his pubs
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This house was built for laser tag.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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