chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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