She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
