you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
