This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
