k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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