some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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