i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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