My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
