Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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