When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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