Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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