I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
