We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Randomize