They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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