A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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