It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
