Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
