in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I think my moral compass just broke
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
