Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
