I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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