i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Can't talk, ducks in the car
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
