If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
