Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
