Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize